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Keep a Sport-Life Balance

The statistics pertaining to youth sport participation are disheartening; 70% of children who are participating in youth sport will drop out by the age of 13.

My question is why didn’t I? Why did I play through college, coach through grad school, and am now pursuing a career that is centered in sport?


NCS Champs 2007

I specialized in one sport at a very young age; I played competitively almost from the get go, and even specialized in a single position by the time I was 17. I had all the warning signs of being an athlete who would burnout before reaching my full potential. So what kept me in the game?

I had a sport-life balance. Although I spent the majority of my time on the softball field, the people in my life helped to keep sports in perspective. Sports were a piece of my life, not my whole life. There were other more important things and values; my worth as a person didn’t solely reside on my performance as an athlete.


Opening night of Boulevard Cinemas


Working on the homecoming float my senior year of high school

The most obvious example of the sport-life balanced I achieved as a young athlete was in the diversity of my social circles, and the events that filled my monthly calendar. I grew up on a court where three other girls around my age lived. None of them were involved in sports like I was so our friendship was well rounded; we grew up running around our neighborhood experiencing and focusing on other things besides sport. I was also heavily involved in girl scouts, the six other girls in my troop made up some of my closest friends throughout high school. At the age of 15 we opened a theater in our hometown, an accomplishment that bolstered my confidence and added to my worth as a person off the softball field. (Read more about the teens who opened a theater in 2005 HERE.) The friends that I hung around with at school weren’t  involved in sports either, so again I had opportunities to develop other parts of myself; opportunities to be proud of things that had nothing to do with softball. I also had a long term boyfriend throughout high school that attended a school 20 minutes south of me, so I became very close to his friends and family which again added diversity to the people who were important to me. These people who made up my social life all valued me for more than my softball abilities. Some had never even seen me play, so my performance as an athlete was irrelevant to our friendship. It caused me to grow up in an atmosphere that catered to all of me, and helped to give myself worth in all areas of my personality, not just the piece of me that excelled on the playing field.


Team trip to Disneyland


White water rafting with the team in Park City, Utah

I was also privileged enough to grow up in a family that was able to take vacations outside of softball tournaments. As I got older my softball team flew all over the U.S. to compete at the highest level. However, my family was fortunate enough to be able to take an additional family vacation each summer. It kept it in perspective that sports were important, but family time was highly valued as well. Not only did I get to experience genuine family vacations, but I had a coaches who understood that for some families, our tournaments were their family vacations. As a team we made every out of state trip a fun family experience as well as a serious competitive outing. Our coach allowed the team moms to plan water rafting trips, team dinners, horseback riding excursions, and once in Park City, Utah we even went on a team hot air balloon ride! My coaches knew the value of having a sport life balance and let us genuinely enjoy our tournament trips. Some of my most favorite memories are from these tournaments and everything we did made me fall even more in love with the sport. Doing other activities while traveling also allowed my teammates to get to know me as a person, not just an athlete. You learn to appreciate your teammates for more than just their athletic performance; you also learn to value the other pieces of yourself.


Playing powder puff football my senior year

My parents were the most prominent influence of keeping my life balanced between sport and other experiences. The house I grew up in bordered a regional park. On my court lived three other girls that were around my age. Also on the court were kids who were a few years older, and others who were a few years younger. At any given time there were anywhere from 1-13 kids to play with, and a plethora of open space to do so in. My home life away from the softball field consisted mostly of free play with my neighboring peers. Some of which my parents probably weren’t too thrilled about; like tying a rope to a bike seat and holding on for dear life while being pulled on rollerblades. I was lucky enough to have parents who let me be involved in “risky” activities (like the one mentioned above) without reprimanding me to stay un-injured so I could compete. This example may seem subtle, but little things like this that were noticeable on a day-to-day basis were the most influential in keeping sports in perspective. It was a constant reminder that there was more to life, and myself, than sport.


Posing with our high school rival team

Athletes who have a diversity of experiences and people in their lives learn to value all dimensions of their personality and abilities. This quality helps athletes who encounter chronic slumps, difficult teammates, and unfavorable coaching stay in the game. They can stick with the sport they love through the pitfalls and hardships because they have developed as a whole person and see the value in other experiences. Keep kids in sport by fostering their development as a whole child, not just an athlete!




A Glimpse Into Two Different Mindsets

I got the opportunity to spend a couple days with a JV softball team up in Sacramento this past season. I got to observe two practices and a game. I was taken aback by the passion, drive, and enthusiasm these girls have for their sport.

As a freshman in high school I played varsity ball and I never got to experience the JV level. These girls don’t have dreams of playing in college; they aren’t obsessed with beating out the girl next to them to get a look from a college coach. These girls just simply love the game. IMG_3312They love to play and want to spend as many minutes on the field as they can. They eat up coaching and ask for more of it when they don’t get enough. Their sole desire is to improve. Every ounce of their mental capacity is focused on the task at hand. They are supportive of each other to a fault. No matter how unsuccessful a teammate is performing they are genuinely supportive. They are patient, kind, and extremely encouraging. This is the atmosphere I’ve been striving to instill in my teams for years. They really accept every player for who they are and aren’t judgemental of their skill level. They just want everyone to try their hardest all the time, and they do! They work hard without a peep from their coaches, it’s all them all the time.

It was an amazing display of a mastery climate created by the players themselves.

My biggest question is why? Why has this atmosphere been so effortlessly created on this team? I think the answer lies in the research of Carol Dweck; the difference between the growth and capacity mindset. Individuals who posses the growth mindset are constantly looking to improve, they believe that with hard work anybody can improve at anything. These people welcome failure, and challenges, because they are opportunities to learn and grow. Capacity mindset is a whole different ball game. These folks believe that abilities are set. You either have it or you don’t, there isn’t any real opportunity for immense improvement. These people avoid failure at all costs, they are constantly trying to put themselves in situations where they can show off their talents because they need to prove themselves. They need to reaffirm their abilities to others consistently because there is no room for improvement.

Without the pressure of having to prove themselves to a college coach, the JV girls are able to embrace failure and focus on learning and developing their talents. Where as the varsity girls get caught up in always trying to look the best so college coaches don’t notice their flaws or weaknesses.


Winning the NCS Championship my senior year of high school

This is a pretty broad statement; all varsity athletes have a capacity mindset and all JV athletes have a growth mindset. That’s not exactly what I’m saying. I’m inferring that maybe because most varsity athletes have been talented since they were kids, they may have been referred to as “natural athletes”. Well, as a natural athlete, the talent you have isn’t something you worked for, therefore you aren’t in control of improving it. However, athletes who weren’t always the greatest, probably weren’t ever told this, and they learned from a young age that they were going to have to work hard to be able to play ball at a competitive level. They learned that hard work and repetition lead to improvement.
Although I made varsity as a freshman, I was never considered a “natural athlete”. In fact, most thought I would never play in college. I had to work really hard for the successes that came my way. Looking back, I’m thankful that I didn’t have “natural talent”, it made me take control of my ability and push my way to the top. It’s something that still impacts my life today; I may not be the best at what I do, but I am constantly looking for opportunities to learn and better myself. Where I am today is just a starting point, I am in full control of developing my abilities to get to the top of my field.



Quote of the day:

“Don’t tell me how talented you are. Tell me how hard you work” Artur Rubenstein


How Stress Can be Helpful!

Anxiety, we’ve all felt it. It’s the cringe in your stomach when you step up to the plate. It’s the feeling of clammy hands making it difficult to grip the club on the last hole. It’s the shortness of breath before taking a free throw shot. nervous-sweatingIt’s excessive perspiration ruining a shirt before a big speech. It’s a pounding heart as the starting gun sounds. It’s the body kicking into overdrive stimulating the fight or flight response.

The field of sport psychology has developed multiple approaches and strategies to fight the negative side effects of competitive anxiety. Relaxation techniques like deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation aim to quiet the mind and the body, decreasing the heart rate and in turn quieting the racing mind.

However, a simple change in perception can be just as beneficial to controlling those pre-game jitters. Kelly McGonigal, a health psychologist, is known for taking research and turning it into easy useful methods for the everyday person to utilize. In her latest Ted Talk she speaks about how to view stress in a positive manner. I found her approach to work very well, especially in preparation for competition.

Most of us interpret the above stress syndrome as negative. We think, oh no I must be really nervous for this performance. But what if we started to view that stress response as helpful? If we thought, oh my heart is pounding and my breath is quickening my body must be revving up for competition. lacrosse-games-beginThe pounding heart just gets more blood to my muscles which helps them perform more efficiently. The increase in breath rate is helping to increase the oxygen in my bloodstream to help my body work harder. Researchers found that this simple change in perspective actually changed the physical stress response in participants. They still felt the pounding heart and the sweaty hands, however, their blood vessels didn’t constrict as they did previously. This allowed for better blood flow throughout the body and was actually a helpful response!

Next time you are walking up to the plate for an at bat and feel your stress response kicking in, view it as a positive thing! It is helping your body prepare for competition, embrace it, and use it’s power!

For more information watch the “Making Stress Your Friend” Ted Talk

Quote of the day: Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one” Hans Selye

Ten Minutes Of Greatness

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I really do believe the saying “early bird gets the worm”. I have noticed that the best of the best get there first. Weather it be a teacher, an employee, or an athlete; the ones who get their first, or early, are usually the ones who do the best (2) I’ve also noticed in myself that when I get up early and start my day, I feel the best. I am productive and inspired. There is something about that early morning silence. It’s energizing, empowering, and encouraging.

Have you ever been the first person to do something? Or have you witnessed someone else stepping outside of the box and trying something new for the first time? I have been in both of these situations, and something I heard recently really rings true. People who do things first get noticed. In fact our culture has a slu of terms to describe these people; trend-setters, leaders, or entrepreneurs.

Take 10 minutes to do something that will help you become great before you start your day. Jim Brogan urges his clients and athletes to shoot “swishes” before school in the morning. EXCELLENCEPrime yourself by putting your mind in a productive mindset. This will jump start your day and keep you on the path to success.

So what do I do for my 10 minutes of greatness in the morning? Every morning as I am getting ready for work I watch a Ted Talk. These talks inspire me and help me to add new aspects to my sport psychology lessons.

Taking ten minutes everyday, preferably in the morning, is a great way for athletes to begin the process of improving their mental game. Whether it’s ten minutes of imagery to improve their visualization skills and improve their performance. Or practicing their concentration skills by doing simple focus drills. It could be ten minutes of devising plans of how to deal with adverse situations; how are you going to react if you don’t have your best stuff at practice today?

What can you do before you start your day? It only takes ten minutes.

Quote of the day:

“Excellence is a learned skill” 

An Unforgettable Atmosphere

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Cambrian Little League Park

Today I got the opportunity to watch the most enjoyable baseball game I’ve ever witnessed.The atmosphere was one that is unmatched by any other sporting event. Words can’t begin to do justice in capturing the charismatic energy felt in the park. It was an overwhelming encouraging happiness that festered throughout the crowd, into the dugout, and onto the field with the athletes. Just sitting in the stands made me bubble up with a tickling happiness that brimmed my eyes with joyful tears. It was the epitome of what youth sport should be all about.



The athletes were ecstatic at the chance to play baseball. Contagious smiles were permanently plastered across their faces. Cheers and squeals could be heard at every crack of the bat; kids laughed and some even bowed as they reached first base. Every single athlete put forth their very best effort in every situation; they remained undeterred with a cheerful disposition even when the outcomes were unsuccessful. These kids displayed immense amounts of teamwork; they lent a helping hand at every opportunity. They understood that it was imperative to work together in order to experience success. They cheered and supported every athlete, even those who were playing for the opposing team. The display of sportsmanship was impeccable. This was their game, and they knew it.

The fans were every bit as enthusiastic as the athletes were. Pom-poms and team apparel flooded the crowded stands. At times, some of the kids would come to the fence to greet their fans. They would remove their caps with a swing of their hand and simultaneously take a bow. The crowd erupted with cheers every time, going crazy over the chance to see a player within hands reach. A handful of kids were so passionate about the game that they would slide or dive into every base. Every time, without fail, the fans went wild, yelling, “He’s safe, he’s safe!” Every effort, whether the outcome was successful or not, was recognized and appreciated by the enthusiastic fans.

The coaches were encouraging at every turn. Their sole goal was to have each athlete experience success. With a little patience, and a lot of enthusiasm they ensured that each kid felt like an MVP.  The coaches empowered the athletes by urging them to use the tools they needed to succeed, whether it be a whiffle ball instead of a hardball or a ball set on a tee rather than pitched by a coach. Their focus wasn’t on the “right” way to do things; they emphasized individuality and creativity in the kid’s pursuit of success.


Alejandro and his buddies George and Diego

It was rewarding to the say the least. This was a Challenger league game. The little boy I work with, Alejandro, has Spinal Muscular Atrophy and this league caters to athletes who are differently abled. At every game his team is paired with a Cambrian Little League team and they work together to ensure that all kinds of kids get the chance to experience the magic of baseball. Every Challenger athlete has a partner from a Cambrian team who helps them execute any skills they may have difficulty with. The kids on both sides are learning so much more than the game of baseball; their involvement in these leagues is shaping their perspective on the world and those who inhabit it with them. They are learning skills and gaining knowledge that will drive them in successful directions throughout life. These kids are walking away with the essential life lessons that youth sport should instill in all of its participants. Well done San Jose, well done.

Quote of the Day: 

“T.E.A.M. – Together Everyone Achieves More” 

Say “Do” instead of “Don’t”

Our minds are busy places. They are constantly on overload with all the sights and sounds that are consistently in our presence. In order for our minds to process the overwhelming number of stimulants that are present at any given moment, they must employ a simple trick. Our brains make sense of this chaotic world by picking out the most prominent For instance, in the sentence, “Don’t think about a pink elephant”, Our brains immediately pick out the image of a pink elephant and begin to picture it. Even though the statement was asking us NOT to think of the pink elephant, our brains picked out the biggest subject and ran with it. The word “don’t” didnt make it into our conscious thoughts.

This is a perplexing concept to ponder when observing a youth sport competition. It seems the coaches and parents are frequently instructing the athletes by informing them of what NOT to do. “Don’t pull your head”, “Don’t drop your hands”, or “Don’t give up”. All these statements have the athletes focusing on the undesired action; pulling their head, dropping their hands, and giving up. download (1)These kids now have a prominent picture of what the coach doesn’t want them to do playing through their head.

It’s more beneficial to athletes if you explicitly tell them what you want to see. “Don’t pull your head” is better said as, “Keep your eye on the ball”. This reconstructed statement forces the athletes mind to focus on seeing the ball rather than pulling their head.
It’s a little tricky at first to reconstruct all statements from a negative focus to a positive focus, but with a little practice it can be done!

It’s common for sport coaches to ask players to eliminate “can’t” from their vocabulary and self-talk. These coaches are trying to keep athletes from engaging in negative self-talk, and hindering their performances with a negative attitude. I’m suggesting that parents, coaches, and athletes alike eliminate “don’t” from their vocabulary. Keep the instructions athletes are receiving focused on the desired action. Make sure that team goals are written out in a positive form and lack the word “Don’t”. Encourage athletes to engage in positive self-talk by keeping their minds focused on where they want to go.

Imagery is one of the most researched strategies in sport psychology. Research suggests that envisioning success leads to success. Eliminating the word “don’t” from parents’, coaches’, and athletes’ vocabularies will assist athletes in envisioning success, and will lead to more successful performances. Say “Do” instead of “Don’t”.


Simple Steps for bringing Team Cohesion to the Office

Check out my latest blog on! It discusses the importance of team cohesion in the office!

With all the politics that come into play while working for a corporation it’s hard to stray from the idea of only looking out for yourself. Its every man for himself out there. It’s understandable to put up your guard and hit the floor running as a one man show. After all your job is your lifeline, your sense of security. However, how would the office function if everyone put a little effort into looking out for their co workers?

5071395Team cohesion is a phenomenon that is highly desired in sport teams; it is thought to promote success and heighten enjoyment. Team cohesion is defined as; “The tendency for a group to stick together and remain united in the pursuit if its goals and objectives”. With the high amounts of similarity between sport and the corporate world, office cohesion is said to promote more enjoyable work environments and higher productivity rates.

There are two aspects in this dynamic process of team unity: social cohesion and task cohesion. Social cohesion is the degree to which people get along and enjoy each other socially, and task cohesion is the degree to which people work together to attain common goals. The challenge is to find the balance between the two. Employees need to enjoy each other’s company without letting their enjoyment interfere with the groups productivity…So how can companies increase the unity of their office?…. Read More

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