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The first Step to Improving Your Mental Game: Awareness

The first task on your athlete’s journey to strengthen their mental game is to increase the awareness of their thoughts. Instruct them to notice if their self-talk is hindering them or helping them achieve success. It’s crucial that your athletes notice when their minds are working for them and when it is working against them. Their focus is to recognize patterns of when it’s easy for them to stay motivated and focused, and when they struggle to do so.

5308196-success-failure-green-road-sign-illustration-on-a-radiant-blue-backgroundTheir goal should be to listen to their “strong” voice and ignore or smother their “weak” voice. Their strong voice is the voice that fills them with confidence, allows them to take on challenges, and helps them to stay positive when the going gets tough. This voice is the voice that talks them into sprinting their hardest even though they’ve already run 10 suicides; this is also the voice that encourages them to throw another rise ball even though the last one was just hit over the fence. Athletes need to recognize their strong voice and buy into it while simultaneously pushing out their weak voice.

How to work awareness into your coaching:

  1. When practice starts: Remind athletes to work on mentally preparing themselves for the upcoming practice. Which voice are you listening to today? Are you talking yourself into working hard at practice, or are you simply going through the motions dragging yourself along praying that practice will end soon?
  2. Watch their body language: If you see an athlete looking or performing like they are defeated, remind them to find their strong voice and smother their weak voice.
  3. During instruction: If you are working on critiquing an athletes form, make sure to include what they should be reciting to themselves in their head.
  4. When an athlete is struggling: Bring to their attention how their mind could be playing a role in their frustration. Is their weak voice taking control and beating themselves up inside or is their strong voice talking themselves into making the next play.

Passing the Torch – Servant Leadership

A former player of mine recently contacted me and shared an amazing piece of her coaching philosophy with me. Since my time as her coach, she has taken my place as the assistant coach at our local JC. I couldn’t be more proud of the thought and passion she puts into her coaching. Below is something she wrote for her players and I am absolutely in awe of her passion and talents. Great, great, job Taylor, you are going to make such an impact on the athletes you come into contact with.

coach_taylor“Did you push yourself to be great today? If you didn’t do it, we lost a day. And we don’t have many days to lose. It’s so easy to be average. It takes a little something to be special. Why be around average? I believe there are certain ideas that can push teams to greatness. Servant leadership. Having an attitude of gratitude. Selflessness. Humility. Let’s find a way to incorporate these acts into our lives, every single day. As John Wooden said, “It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.”

Ask yourself this: are you more concerned with the team’s outcome or your own personal outcome? Would you rather see the team win at the expense of you getting no hits with 2 errors? Selflessness wins games. Servant leadership wins games. And having an attitude of gratitude wins games. Do you understand what servant leadership is? Do you really understand what it means to put others first, and in doing so, genuinely want them to succeed? A servant leader focuses primarily on the growth and well-being of people and the communities to which they belong. If every person on this team promises to practice servant leadership, how could we fail? We will succeed because we will become better human beings in this process. For a team to be great, selflessness and humility are 2 necessary traits for a team to posses. People with humility don’t think less of themselves. They just think of themselves less. Often times in sports the bigger picture can be lost.

As a coach, my short-term goal is for this team to win games. I am competitive and passionate, and I want us to be the best. But my long-term goal is for this team to grow into amazing human beings and to be the best people we can be on and off the field. Our time is so short and it’s crucial that we incorporate these ideas in our everyday lives to be successful. We need to work harder at having an attitude of gratitude. We are so lucky that we were given this opportunity. At the beginning of every year, I make a promise to myself to cherish and enjoy every moment. I tell myself not to get caught up in the wins and losses, but to enjoy the moments with all of you special people. Time speeds by at an alarming pace. Sometimes we can forget to take a breather and enumerate what we have been given that we’ve forgotten or taken for granted.

Because of this, let’s all try to focus on the positive rather than the negative. Let’s start, end, and live each moment of the day in gratitude. Because after all, our time together is so short and you will never forget your teammates. You will forget the wins and losses. You will probably even forget the countless conversations you had with each other. But you will never forget the way your teammates made you feel. And for that, we should all be thankful. In the big picture, we are all moving towards the same goal. We are all holding onto the same rope, pulling that rope together in the same direction. So hold that rope tight, and be thankful you’ve been given the opportunity to be one of the special few to experience this special environment. Being a part of something bigger than yourself is such a special thing. And if you forget everything else, remember this: a player who makes a team great is more valuable than a great player. Losing yourself in the group, for the good of the group, that’s teamwork.

Thank you again Taylor for sharing, seriously, I couldn’t be more proud of you. You are going to go so far, and impact so many people. Keep up the incredible work, and thank you so much for keeping in touch and sharing your successes with me.

Quote of the day:

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” – Winston Churchill 

Setting the Tone for the Season

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Every great coach has his or her own coaching philosophy. They know what they value, they know what they want to emphasize, and they know what they expect out of their athletes. It’s the foundation that guides the way they interact with their athletes, it guides the practices they plan and execute, it guides the consequences they give, and it determines the persona they fulfill as a coach.pyramid success

I believe a great way to start off a season is by having the athletes create their own philosophy and code of conduct for the season. By doing this exercise early on, it immediately sets the team culture or “tone” for the season. The athletes will know what is expected of them, and what the consequences will be. They will have a structure to guide their behaviors. This will alleviate the coach of disciplinary issues because the athletes already understand how to comply. This code of conduct and philosophy will set the foundation for the team and give them an immediate sense of identity; “this is how we do things here”. Allowing the athletes to create their own code of conduct gives them a sense of autonomy. They are more likely to buy in to the philosophy if it’s something they create on their own.

IMG_9645Not only does this create a great jumping off point for the season, but it is also a great team building activity. The athletes are forced to collaborate with one another, which means they will have to overcome conflict. From a coaches stand point, it’s an opportunity to see personality traits emerge: who acted as a
leader, who kept the group on task, who added a lot of energy to the exercise, who was more concerned with social goals, who was a good listener, who allowed for everyone to be heard?

It’s optimal to have this activity facilitated by a coach, especially for younger teams. Help your athletes think through all facets of their sport. Make sure to include social aspects into the code of conduct, as well as more sport oriented things like effort, attitude, and punctuality. A great way to end this activity is by having athletes come up with a team motto that sums up their philosophy. This team motto is a great way to remind the athletes what they stand for. It’s something they can print on team shirts, wear on wristbands, or hang on a banner near the field. It’s a constant reminder that mentally prepares them to excel everyday.

Quote of the day:

“To inspire, to excel, and to take pride in one another; together we are one!” – PHS Varsity Softball’s Team Motto 2014 

Put Happiness First

03Our society is a little backwards. We say work harder so you’ll be more successful and that will make you happier. However when we work hard and achieve success, we then just push our expectations higher. So our brains never really get to revel in that successful feeling and immerse itself in happiness.

Why don’t we work backwards? Studies have shown that “happier” people perform better in many contexts. Doctors make quicker more beneficial decisions, and students perform higher on tests. This is because these “happier” people have more internal resources to dedicate to their successes, in other words they have fewer negative distractions. Research has done studies that ask participants to increase their happiness levels. This is done by learning to live in the moment, increasing gratefulness, engaging in random acts of kindness, engaging in meditation and regular exercise. If we could increase the happiness indexof our athletes they would have more personal resources to put into sport. We could help athletes enjoy their sport despite the outcome of competition.

Increase an athlete’s happiness? That sounds like quite the daunting task for a coach. I’m telling you it doesn’t have to be. In fact, it may actually make coaching easier in the long run. Here are a few simple things you can do to assist your athletes in becoming happier more productive assets to your team.

Living in the moment: As humans we tend to spend only 53% of our time actually living in the present moment. We are constantly worrying about or anticipating future situations or analyzing and reliving those in the past. We don’t give ourselves the opportunity to get lost in the present moment. Matt Killingsworth found that the more we let our minds wander, whether our thoughts are negative or positive, the less happy we tend to be. So how do we stay in the present moment and how will that improve sports performance? When you realize your mind is wandering and you aren’t focused on the task at hand, silently name 5-10 things that are positive and within your present experience. For instance if an athlete is at practice and they realize they are thinking about their weekend plans or last nights TV episode, they might recite these five things silently: 1) I am outside on a beautiful day and the sun is shining. 2) I am surrounded by teammates that I enjoy spending time cd_skatepark_getout_061611_32with. 3) I am playing the sport I love. 4) I am about to take a fly ball. 5) I feel confident in the way I’ve been performing at practice. These thoughts immediately bring the mind to the present and keep thoughts focused on the task at hand. This immediately increases the mental focus of athletes and helps them to perform at a higher level because they are using product thoughts to aid their body’s performance. Matt Killingsworth’s Ted Talk

Count your blessings: Expressing gratitude to someone else has been found to increase happiness by 25% according to research. Those who are thankful for the good things in their life tend to be more optimistic, energetic, empathetic, and generous. It’s easy to dwell on the negatives in this fast paced, ever changing, social media crazed world we live in. Give your athletes a chance to be grateful for the positive things in their life everyday before or after practice. Team members, as well as coaches, can share out loud 3 things they are grateful for, or you can have teammates partner up to share their gratitude for the life they are living. Being grateful for the way things are today is another way of living in the present moment and keeping distracting thoughts at bay.

Random acts of kindness: this-beautiful-random-act-of-kindness-was-photographed-give-this-awesome-guy-a-like-for-caringResearchers have conducted studies where they give participants $20 dollars. The participants are either told to spend that money on themselves or someone else. Results suggest that those participants who spent their money on other people were happier and more satisfied with their purchases than those who spent it on themselves. Happiness research has come to the conclusion that random acts of kindness leads to living a happier life. As a coach you can make this part of your team culture. Make it apparent to your athletes that generosity, selflessness, and kindness are highly valued on your team. After all they are key characteristics of a good teammate. Set up friendly challenges where athletes strive to outdo each other in the number of random acts of kindness they commit in a day. It can be things as simple as lending a stranger lunch money, giving a stranger a compliment, bringing a teammate a new hair accessory, or bringing a special snack for the whole team to enjoy after practice. These acts of selflessness will show the athletes that they are in this together. When someone is willing to sacrifice themselves for the good of the group others tend to feel more secure and are willing to put forth more effort. Knowing that their teammates are putting others before themselves will help the team come together and be stronger on their rise to victory.

Regular exercise: Since I am focusing on sports regular exercise is 4bb87f872f32423626104be6b8f010a5418f1c93something that you as a coach are already taking care of. However, sometimes the workouts we get as an athlete aren’t enough. Encourage your athletes to do more off the field, keeping our bodies healthy is a foundational step in attaining higher levels of happiness.

Meditation: I’ve never been a promoter of meditation but a Ted Talk I watched a while back gave me a new perspective. We all know it’s imperative that we let our bodies rest; sleep is the time when we recharge our batteries so we can function at the proper levels the next day. As athletes we stretch our muscles, and rest our bodies between practices and competitions in order to heal and reboot. However, we never give our mind this courtesy. Our minds are constantly going 100% all the time. We are thinking, worrying, wondering, focusing, calculating all day long, and then when we go to sleep we dream. Our minds never get a moment to shutdown and reboot. This is where meditation comes in. Giving the mind the break it needs can be the key to seeing the world and ourselves in a whole new light. Ask athletes to take ten minutes out of their day to do absolutely nothing; no mind wandering, no texting, no TV, no reading, just being. Ten Mindful Minutes Ted Talk

Using this philosophy and working “backwards” to success will show your athletes that you care about their well being. When an athlete knows that a coach cares about them as a person and not just an athlete that aids in the teams success, they are more willing to go above and beyond for that coach. Increase their happiness and in turn1247259.large increase their commitment to the sport, and their drive for success. Happier athletes are more productive athletes simply because they have more resources to put forth.

Quote of the day:

“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” – Omar Khayyam

Say “Do” instead of “Don’t”

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Our minds are busy places. They are constantly on overload with all the sights and sounds that are consistently in our presence. In order for our minds to process the overwhelming number of stimulants that are present at any given moment, they must employ a simple trick. Our brains make sense of this chaotic world by picking out the most prominent things.download For instance, in the sentence, “Don’t think about a pink elephant”, Our brains immediately pick out the image of a pink elephant and begin to picture it. Even though the statement was asking us NOT to think of the pink elephant, our brains picked out the biggest subject and ran with it. The word “don’t” didn’t make it into our conscious thoughts.

This is a perplexing concept to ponder when observing a youth sport competition. It seems the coaches and parents are frequently instructing the athletes by informing them of what NOT to do. “Don’t pull your head”, “Don’t drop your hands”, or “Don’t give up”. All these statements have the athletes focusing on the undesired action; pulling their head, dropping their hands, and giving up. download (1)These kids now have a prominent picture of what the coach doesn’t want them to do playing through their head.

It’s more beneficial to athletes if you explicitly tell them what you want to see. “Don’t pull your head” is better said as, “Keep your eye on the ball”. This reconstructed statement forces the athletes mind to focus on seeing the ball rather than pulling their head.
It’s a little tricky at first to reconstruct all statements from a negative focus to a positive focus, but with a little practice it can be done!

It’s common for sport coaches to ask players to eliminate “can’t” from their vocabulary and self-talk. These coaches are trying to keep athletes from engaging in negative self-talk, and hindering their performances with a negative attitude. I’m suggesting that parents, coaches, and athletes alike eliminate “don’t” from their vocabulary. Keep the instructions athletes are receiving focused on the desired action. Make sure that team goals are written out in a positive form and lack the word “Don’t”. Encourage athletes to engage in positive self-talk by keeping their minds focused on where they want to go.

Imagery is one of the most researched strategies in sport psychology. Research suggests that envisioning success leads to success. Eliminating the word “don’t” from parents’, coaches’, and athletes’ vocabularies will assist athletes in envisioning success, and will lead to more successful performances. Say “Do” instead of “Don’t”.

 

Create an Optimal Experience

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My Coach and I in Park City Utah when I was 15 for the Triple Crown World Series.

Through my experience as an athlete, student, and coach, I have learned and experienced how much of an impact a coach can have on a player; both positive and negative. How many times have you heard the story about the one coach who ruined a kid’s athletic career? Unfortunately it’s a common story too many children have lived through. Fortunately, we also hear the stories about the one coach who influenced an athlete to pursue sport for the rest of their careers. This was my experience in youth sport; I was coached by a coach who understood the value of self-confidence, and what it means to truly believe in a player, despite the odds. Without his guidance, and trust in my abilities, I wouldn’t be who I am, or have the dreams I have, today.

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Giving my teammate Caly a piggy back ride after a team victory

Youth sport is such an influence place to teach life lessons to children. For instance if I ask you to recall a childhood memory from a 3rd-5th grade classroom, most of us draw banks or have very vague memories. When asked to recall a sporting memory from childhood most of us can quickly recall a vivid memory, some of which still elicit emotion. Unfortunately, the volunteers who so kindly step up to coach are usually not supported with mass amounts of training. They simply add coach to their laundry list of responsibilities and do the best they can. A simple way to improve your coaching is to strive to give kids an overall optimal experience in sport, not the experience of a winning season.

So what consists of an optimal experience in sport? When you send your child off to play youth sport are you hoping they will eventually walk away with the skills needed to play at the collegiate level? Some maybe, but mostly, you just want your kid to have a good experience and hopefully like the sport, right?

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This is me playing second base when I was 15 in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Unfortunately, in a society where sport is an entertainment business, optimal experience can get mistaken for a winning season. A winning season doesn’t always equate to a great experience. In one of my many seasons of softball we had a very good team. Our record was good and we were one game out of the finals. We even got to travel to some amazing places to play ball. This same year 5 girls electively ended their softball careers.

It’s not just about the scoreboard; it’s about having fun, improving, learning, creating friendships, and developing self-confidence. These are the things parents will come up and thank coaches for after the season is through. Try to keep this in mind when you head out to the field to coach your youngsters. Create an optimal experience for all your athletes.

Quote of the day: 

“When all is said and done, it’s not the shots that won the championship that you remember, but the friendships you made along the way.” -Unknown

Baring it all

My world from my perspective.

One Game, One Love.

Coaching perspectives and life lessons of a Sports Psychology M.A.

Live Love Sport

Improving your mental game

Secret Life of a Startup

Some things you can't complain about at work

M I Initiatives

Belief in Human Potential

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