Category Archives: Self Confidence

        Two years ago, I found myself at high school basketball game supporting a classmate of mine who was coaching. Within seconds of being there, a foul was called and a free throw shot was taken. The player shot the ball, and once she realized she was going to miss the shot she immediately hung her head and mouthed “Dang it”. It took her a second to gather herself before she realized she needed to be on the other end of the court for defense. I kept my eye on this player for next few minutes and noticed after every single “attempt” her body language was full of self-doubt. It was obvious she felt defeated by the physical performance she was displaying. Although I can’t speak to how well she was previously playing before I arrived, her defeated body language wasn’t aiding in current performance.

The head drop, the eye roll, the exasperated sigh; we’ve all seen it. We all know what it means; “I am unhappy with the way I’m performing”.

Fake it until you make it. We’ve heard many great coaches say this. An opponent, even a teammate, should never be able to guess at how you’re feeling on the court. A few weeks ago I got the opportunity to speak with Coach Sue Enquist from UCLA. One of the things she preaches to her players is fake it until you make it. Positive body language is such a huge factor in how you perform. If an opponent thinks you have already defeated yourself, they grow more confident in their ability to beat you.

You can usually pick the better players out by how they carry themselves. If you watch pre-shot routines, those that display more confidence usually have better technique in their shot, even if they don’t actually make the basket.  Confidence is a huge predictor to your level of play. If you don’t have it, fake your confidence! Even if you aren’t feeling confident, pretend you are! Be an actress! Keep your head up after an error even if you want to throw your fist through a wall. It can actually affect the way you feel and play. Positive body language can change the hormones in your body, and literally make you feel more confident. Yes, it’s true. It can also affect how your opponents play against you; it is harder to beat a confident team. It can also affect how your teammates play next to you. Your body language affects them just as much as it does your opponents. Always keep your head up!

Anxiety, we’ve all felt it. It’s the cringe in your stomach when you step up to the plate. It’s the feeling of clammy hands making it difficult to grip the club on the last hole. It’s the shortness of breath before taking a free throw shot. It’s excessive perspiration ruining a shirt before a big speech. It’s a pounding heart as the starting gun sounds. It’s the body kicking into overdrive stimulating the fight or flight response.

The field of sport psychology has developed multiple approaches and strategies to fight the negative side effects of competitive anxiety. Relaxation techniques like deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation aim to quiet the mind and the body, decreasing the heart rate and in turn quieting the racing mind.

However, a simple change in perception can be just as beneficial to controlling those pre-game jitters. Kelly McGonigal, a health psychologist, is known for taking research and turning it into easy useful methods for the everyday person to utilize. In her latest Ted Talk she speaks about how to view stress in a positive manner. I found her approach to work very well, especially in preparation for competition.

Most of us interpret the above stress syndrome as negative. We think, oh no I must be really nervous for this performance. But what if we started to view that stress response as helpful? If we thought, oh my heart is pounding and my breath is quickening my body must be revving up for competition. The pounding heart just gets more blood to my muscles which helps them perform more efficiently. The increase in breath rate is helping to increase the oxygen in my bloodstream to help my body work harder. Researchers found that this simple change in perspective actually changed the physical stress response in participants. They still felt the pounding heart and the sweaty hands, however, their blood vessels didn’t constrict as they did previously. This allowed for better blood flow throughout the body and was actually a helpful response!

Next time you are walking up to the plate for an at bat and feel your stress response kicking in, view it as a positive thing! It is helping your body prepare for competition, embrace it, and use it’s power!

For more information watch the “Making Stress Your Friend” Ted Talk

Quote of the day: “Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one” Hans Selye

There’s a common theme spreading through sport these days; “motivated and passionate athletes are rare; players just aren’t like they used to be”. I’ve noticed and even agreed with this statement at times, but the more I ponder it, I think it may be a bit of a cop out. The game hasn’t changed, maybe the athletes have evolved, but I don’t think it’s as significant as some claim it to be.

Athletes who seem to be unmotivated and continually make excuses for their lack of ability may be experiencing a significant fear of failure. These athletes are so afraid to fail that they start to avoid hard work all together. In doing this, they create a perfect excuse for not performing well. For example; an athlete like this will put little effort in at practice, stay up late that night, and then perform under par at the game the next day. This athlete now has the perfect excuse for not playing well – a lack of sleep. When these athletes do succeed and perform well, it makes their abilities look above average because they are succeeding while putting very little effort forth. These athletes are creating a self-serving bias. In good outcomes they attribute their succeses to their abilities and efforts, and in negative outcomes they attribute their failures to something external that is beyond their control.

This is a defense mechanism. It protects the athlete from honestly putting themself out there and experiencing cold, hard, failure. This nonchalant attitude they carry prevents them from having to attribute failure to personal shortcomings. It protects their ego and self perception.

These are athletes who play tentatively and conservatively. They are timid and aren’t as aggressive as they should be. They hope for the opponent to make a mistake that tilts the game in their own favor.

Coaches, take a look at who you are as a coach. Is it possible that you could be the culprit to this persona? How do you react to a failure or mistake?

Athletes, does this sound familiar? As you reflect, are you noticing that you stray from giving practice all you got? Are you experiencing an overwhelming fear of failure?

Parents, have you noticed what seems to be a lack of motivation in your child? Have you been putting excess pressure on them to succeed?

These athletes need to realize that failure is a means to learn, grow, and develop their abilities. Without failure we would never get better or make adjustments to improve our game. Failure is a natural and beneficial peice of sport. Especially in sports like baseball and softball failure is a significant part of the game. A GREAT batting average is .400; that’s “failing” 6 times out of ten at the plate. Encourage and empower athlete’s abilities and teach them to change their perspective on failure. It’s not a failure, it’s a learning opportunity.

Quote of the day:
“I’m postive that a doer makes mistakes. I want a team full of doers” – John Wooden